I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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