Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We left the knife in your bed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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