We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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