She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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