after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Houston, we have a blender
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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