I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
