Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
