Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
My bed smells like the plague
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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