Are we in a gay sports bar?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
