rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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