even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
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