Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
