three words: i give head
three words: not that well
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
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you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
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You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.