everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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