Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
