he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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