its not stalking. its research.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
