Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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