I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize