I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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