Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
