id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
