Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dick very happy bro
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
