He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
