the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
