Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
