I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
