Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
