TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
