redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
FUCK WHALES
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