brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
