umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
