I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
