i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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