Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
