we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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