part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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