Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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