'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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