Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize