a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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