I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
