once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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