I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
