Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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