kristin has been a bad kristin
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
