Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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