are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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