where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize