They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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