Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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