He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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