my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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