I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
