That reminds me...we need to get swords
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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