not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
