im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
