brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Life is so much better after having sex.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
