Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
