dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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