How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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