It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
